iWant Forgiveness
by Wulver
Summary: All he wanted was his friend back. To be forgiven. They wouldn't let him. Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Not a slash fic.


**It came to me like a lot of my other ideas do. Was watching something and poof it appeared in my head.**

Jonah hissed as he dabbed another cut with peroxide. He waited for the sting to cool but that made him stare at his reflection with his one good eye.

His life had been pretty bad since he'd tried to cheat on Sam and kiss Carly. He realized quickly how stupid that was and wanted to try and make it up to them. Especially Freddie, who was admittedly his only friend, but there was always something in the way. Actually it was more of a _someone_ always in the way.

Once word got of what he did, iCarly fans weren't happy with him. Most of them just kept calling him different names and making sure the guilt never left but there was one exception.

Aaron. He didn't stop at the taunting. He and his goons went as far as beating on him at least once every two weeks.

He knew he at least deserved some of it but it was getting to be too much for him. Aaron and his buddies' laughter kept ringing in his head. Clutching his head, he tried to will it to stop but it never did.

Soon his anger began to boil. He hated Aaron with every fiber of his being and he wanted nothing more than to shut him up. Forever.

Heading back to his room, Jonah slowly crawled into bed and let sleep take away his pain if only for a little while.

**THE NEXT DAY…**

_RIDGEWAY HIGH_

Jonah stared at the school trying to remain calm until he got to where he wanted to be.

His dreams the night before had given him an idea. So hands in his hoodie pockets, he walked to his locker.

They were there just like they had been in his dream.

"Well if it isn't the cheater. What do you want today? Punched or tossed around? Maybe a shiner to match the other."

"Neither." Aaron and his friends laughed until he pulled out a gun. "Never again!" Closing his eyes, he fired and heard everyone as they screamed and ran away. Opening his eyes, he saw Aaron and his goons running. He had missed and hit a glass door.

Knowing the cops would be here soon, he walked into the closest classroom and luckily got some stragglers. "Don't move!" Jonah pointed the gun around at them to help them get the message.

_RANDOM HALLWAY_

Sam was terrified as she walked through the quiet school.

It hadn't been five minutes since the gun went off and it was already empty.

She kept along the walls, looking around each corner, being as quiet as possible. So far she was good. Just one more turn and she would be at the library. She planned to hide there until the coast was clear.

As she made it through the doors to the library, Sam quickly tried to find a good hiding space.

Searching she found a spot that let her see around without being spotted. Relaxing in safety, a new fear settled in her. Carly and Freddie could still be in danger while she was hiding. They were all she had to call family, though she would never admit it to Freddie. Her terror overridden, she got up and started heading for a door. Just as she made it past the first row of books a hand clamped over her mouth and pulled her into its owner's chest. Her muffled scream was cut short at the words whispered in her ear.

"Be quiet Sam."

Sam didn't even think twice as she turned and hugged Freddie as tightly as she could. He winced from it but she didn't care. "Freddie, thank God you're safe! I couldn't find Carly and then I saw Jonah walking around with a gun and then…" Her words were cut short as she felt her shirt getting wet. He was crying. She pulled back about to tell him she was okay when she noticed his arm.

There was a darkened wet spot in the middle of his upper arm with a piece of torn cloth barely tied above it. She looked at his hand and saw trails of red running down it and dripping on the floor. "Oh my-"

Freddie once again clamped his hand over Sam's mouth and shushed her. "Sam be quiet," he whispered, "it's okay. Just calm down." She nodded quietly and he lowered his hand. Plopping down on the floor, he grabbed the cloth in his mouth and hand and tried to tighten it.

Sam was in shock. Freddie could barely take one of her punches yet he was taking a shot to the arm like it was nothing. She decided to whisper scream her thoughts. "How can you be so calm?! You just got shot in the arm!"

"Because I need to keep calm." At her confused look he continued. "If I panic it'll speed up my heart rate and make my blood pump faster and I'll bleed more. So please sit down, take a deep breath and stop panicking or I'll start too."

Taking his advice for once, Sam sat down, took a deep breath and watched as her friend kept trying to tighten his knot. Running her hand through her hair she felt her headband slide with it. Suddenly hit with an idea, she moved to his other side and untied his work.

"Sam what are you-"

"Just shut up and don't move." She wrapped the band around his arm and tied it tight making him grunt through his teeth. Her work done, she leaned back and closed her eyes letting the silence calm her. Freddie broke that silence by asking the one question she didn't want to hear.

"Do you know where Carly is?"

_CLASSROOM 289_

Carly stared towards the front while Jonah sat at the teacher's desk with all their cell phones.

Silence was all there was as she looked around at the other students there.

Wendy was sitting in a corner shaking in Shane's arms.

Tareen was sitting at a desk trying to reign in her natural need for movement.

Duke, for once, looked like he was thinking as he stared intently at they're last hostage mate.

Rick was just glaring at Jonah. He was known for his attitude problems and you could tell that the gun holder was rubbing him the wrong way. She knew if anyone was going to be a problem, it would be him.

It was about twenty minutes later that Rick finally snapped.

Standing up he slowly started walking towards the front. "Alright I've had it with this bullshit! I'm leaving!" He took one more step before everyone froze.

Jonah had his gun shakily pointed right at him. Picking up a piece of chalk, he drew a line in the middle of the floor. "No one walks pass this line or they get shot." Moving back, gun still up, he sat on the desk.

Rick wasn't easily swayed. "You don't have enough bullets or time to get all of us."

Carly could see Jonah was kind of scared. The gun was shaking but he didn't lower it.

"Do you want to try me?"

Before Rick could even take a step, Duke had him in a bear hug from behind.

"What are you doing?! Put me down! He can't get all of us!"

"You're not getting anyone hurt," said Duke in an abnormally level voice.

Rick kept struggling until Shane walked up and punched him out.

It got quiet again for a few minutes until someone called from outside. "Jonah!"

Everyone froze, especially Carly. They all knew that voice.

_OUTSIDE_

The police were everywhere blocking every exit. They would have already entered if they knew whether or not the shooter had any hostages.

The teachers were taking role trying to make sure none of their students were inside.

The police chief's radio went off. _"Sir, thirty-six students are unaccounted for but only twenty-seven were absent."_ He asked who the other nine were._"Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Carly Shay, Tareen Jenkins, Shane Rhodes, Wendy Knox, Duke Hamilton, Rick Tyson, and Jonah McCarthy."_

"I want you to contact all their families. Tell them what's happened."

"_Yes sir."_

_LIBRARY_

Freddie and Sam had been sitting there for what seemed like hours.

Hopping up, Freddie held out his hand to Sam. "Come on Sam. We need to get you out of here."

The blonde stared at him like he had grown a second head. "Me? Sorry to reign on your macho parade but I'm not the one bleeding from the arm."

"Well we still need to get out and I'm leading." Before she could protest he held up his hand. "Look I'm already hurt but I'm making damn sure your not. So deal with it and come on." Not waiting he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the hallway.

They slowly made their way through the empty halls, Freddie of course being the one to check around every corner. Soon they reach a hall near an exit. That's when they heard the noises.

Putting his finger to his lips, Freddie signaled for Sam to stay put while he checked it out. Peeking slowly into the room, He saw Jonah talking to Rick just before Duke got him. Ducking down, he speed walked and pulled his friend around the corner. "Carly's in there. Jonah has her and some others in there as well."

"What are we gonna do?"

"Just let me think." Racking his brain, he could only come up with one thing. "Sam I need you to listen. I want you to stay here. I'm going to try and lead Jonah away. When I do I want you to go get the others out if you can."

"That's crazy! That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard!"

Freddie surprisingly pinned her to the wall and covered her mouth. "Shhh. Look I know it's not the best idea but it's all I've got. Now for once just listen to me. Trust me."

Sam stared into his eyes. He was completely serious about risking his own neck for the others. She didn't want him to do this. She couldn't let him do this! But he had asked for her trust. And for once, and against her better judgment, she gave it to him. She nodded making him lower his hand. "Okay but you better not do anything stupid or so help me I'll kill you."

He chuckled before going serious faced again. "There something else I want you to do. I want you to promise if you hear any shots that are too close you'll run." Again not waiting for an answer, Freddie walked around the corner and called out. "Jonah!"

He didn't have to wait long as the room door swung open and Jonah walked out.

Jonah stared wide eyed at his ex-friend. "Freddie what are you doing? Why aren't you outside?!" His eyes soon found his bloody arm. "Dude how did your arm…" Realizing it was his fault, he gripped his head as if he was in pain. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"It got hit when you shot through the glass door, but that doesn't matter now." Holding out his good arm to show he had nothing, Freddie slowly made his way forward. "Why don't we go somewhere else and talk, okay?"

Jonah started shaking his head. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be able to get you to forgive me. I was supposed to be able to get my friend back…but then all them kept stopping me. I tried and I tried but they wouldn't let me!"

Freddie was so confused, he stopped moving forward. "You mean…all this time you've been trying to…"

Jonah nodded and laughed humorlessly with tears in his eyes. "Yeah…You were my only friend remember and you know how my parents are. I didn't have anyone and it hurt so much!" He gripped his chest where all the pain was. "But now I won't get it. I can't be forgiven for something like this. And I can't go back to that! I won't!" For once sure in his movements, he put the barrel to his head and closed his watery eyes. "See ya around Freddie…maybe not…"

Freddie started running forward as soon as his eyes closed. He was able to pull the gun away from his friend's head as he pulled the trigger. That's when he felt the pinch in his chest. Looking down, there was a rapidly darkening hole right near the middle. He looked back up long enough to see Jonah's terrified eyes before falling forward.

Jonah dropped the gun and caught Freddie as he fell. He started shaking his friend trying to keep him awake. "No! Come on Freddie!" Without think he picked him up and ran to the closest exit. "Somebody help!"

It all happened in a flash. The paramedics came out of no where and carried Freddie off. He stood there staring at his bloody hands. He had killed him. He had killed his best friend. His mind shut down at this realization. The world fogged out around him.

He never noticed the others run by him.

He never noticed the police put him in the car.

Nothing, as the full weight of his actions hit him.

Freddie was dead and it was his fault.

**THREE WEEKS LATER…**

_SEATTLE JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER_

Jonah laid on his stiff cell bed staring blankly at the ceiling like he had since he got there.

Two weeks he'd been in this place.

And three since that day… He hadn't gone one night without a nightmare, that one moment playing over and over in his sleep.

"McCarthy!"

Sitting up, he saw a guard unlocking the cell. "You have a visitor." This confused Jonah. He didn't get one visitor, not that he expected to, in the short time he'd been there. _'Maybe my parents decided I was worth there time now.' _He scoffed at that thought as he got up and was lead to the visiting area.

Looking around, he didn't see anyone he recognized. The guard pointed to the far side where a person in a wheelchair was next to a table. He froze as Freddie raised his good arm and waved him over. His brain had to be playing a sick joke on him. He was probably still in his cell. Yeah he fell asleep and now his mind was trying to make him crazy.

"Dude you know these visits have a time limit, right?" Freddie called out in mock impatience.

Jonah slowly made his way over and sat down just staring wide eyed at him. "Wha…how-"

"Am I still kicking? Well when I moved the gun it hit at an angle and completely missed any vital organs somehow."

"So can you like…you know?" asked Jonah gesturing to his friend's legs.

Freddie laughed. "Of course. Doc just wants me to stay in this thing for a few weeks and then some physical therapy. Then poof I'll be good as new! Though my arm's gonna take a bit longer to heal." He pressed his point by showing he could barely move his fingers.

Jonah looked at him like he was crazy. He had shot him and he was acting as if he didn't thing! He should hate him! "Why are you acting as if nothing's happened?! Why aren't you mad?! You shouldn't even want to be near me!" he exclaimed angrily.

Freddie, eyebrow raised, said it was an accident and there wasn't any permanent damage, so why shouldn't he visit one of his best friends in the joint.

Jonah, in a slight daze at being forgiven so easily, and Freddie talked about random things for the rest of the time. He snapped out of it when the guard said time was up. Trying to apologize again, all he got was a smack to the head threat if he didn't stop. "Now help me get to the door. I only got one working arm here." Laughing, he pushed Freddie to one of the guards and said goodbye.

He actually went back to his cell with a smile on his face. He got what he wanted. Forgiveness.

**Well there it is. I'm still new at this so I'm actually okay if you flame me on this one.**


End file.
